A Marriage Dialogue (Blitz Style)…


Turn off the light

Turn on your mind

Mind if I have a poo

Mind if I ignore you

You are cute

You are as well

Well, I really need to take this poo !

Well, then you probably should !

Should I take a stool softener ?

Should you do what ??!

What I just said…

What?!, just go

Go to the bathroom ?

Go, yes, now ! Please !

Please, come out

Please don’t talk

Talk to me

Talk to you ?

You help me

You are too much, honey

Honey…I had a poo !

Honey, what else is new ?

New toilet paper

New is better than used

Used your toothbrush

Used it how ?

How it should be used

How ?! It’s mine !


Mine ! Only !

Only when you need it !

Only when “I” need it ?

It cleaned the toilet well

“IT” can go in the garbage !

Garbage ? Take it out please

Garbage is now your job

Job is work

Job is money

Money I lack

Money “You” spend

Spend time with me

Spend it well

Well, I was kidding

Well, I figured

Figured you’d know

Figured I should

Should understand me

Should understand you



*Written in honor of it being bad poetry day

The Tiger and the pussy cat (a sestina)…

Her curves

Could not cover up her scars

When I met her

Her gait had a bounce

Like Tigger the tiger

Yet I looked beyond that

And that was that

Like a car on dangerous curves

Careening into a streak of tiger’s

Three years of scars

And I couldn’t bounce

I thought I loved her

She had a way about her

Controlling ?, yeah, that !

My love and lust just bounced

Off her invisible shield, the curve

Ball here was that her scars

Were self inflicted by claws of the tiger

Tigger the tiger

Is what I called her

Damaging scars

She inflicted that

Lines crossed, constant curves

And yet, I never bounced…

Why couldn’t I bounce ?

i was a sacrificial gazelle to her tiger

Entranced by her curves ?

What was it about her ?

Not the curves, it wasn’t that

It was our mutual scars

Those damning dark scars

Felt with your head in white wall rubber room bounce

At the time I just couldn’t or wouldn’t or refused to accept that

I was a pussy to your ferocious tiger

Three miserable years with her

Full of mind numbing tortured balls thrown with a curve

Too many scars to block out the god damn tiger

So glad I bounced on August 11, 1991 and finally left her.

30 years later, well that’s that. This pussy cat is far more content with his wife’s curves.

My first official internet Troll…

Someone felt the need to leave empty criticism on one of my posts. His words: “To be honest, this is bad writing.” And left it at that. I’ve never once professed to be a great writer, but I am of the school of if you have nothing nice to say than say nothing at all. Or at least in this case, tell me why you think it’s bad ?

so this is my creative retort written in a rondeau. Thank You KT Workman for the inspiration.

(Note: A rondeau poem has 15 lines containing 3 stanzas—a quintet, a quatrain, and a sestet. Lines 9 and 15 are short: a refrain consisting of a phrase taken from the 1st line.

Rhyme scheme: a-a-b-b-a, a-a-b-R, a-a-b-b-a-R.)

To be honest with you, your writing sucks !

What makes you think I give two flying fucks !
Well, I’m so sorry, it had to be said.
Can’t you offer better feedback instead ?
You can’t write for shit, what’s there to discuss ?

Did I write too much, what would you deduct ?
Well then please zip it, it’s best left unsaid

Thanks for the worthless thoughts up in my head said to my face there may have been bloodshed empty critiques, never a place to tread. to be honest…

My Rose…

I love her mind body soul.
Love her life, admired like minded.
Her life admired, a rose basking.
Mind admired, a humanity is within.
Body like rose, is so glorious.
Soul minded, basking, within glorious God

**this is a square matrix style poem created by Lewis Carroll. It is the same by both column and row, six words to form a square. My square is slightly off because of the inclusion of commas. This style of poetry is incredibly challenging and complex to get everything to be coherent. Technically you can use any amount of words the more words used the more complex**

two word version ie.
Love God.
God above.

photo credit to Engin Akyurt via pexels