Tag: Humor

Really ? What the hell Dept: Grimace…

By Definition…“a facial expression usually of disgust, disapproval,

Turns out he’s an engorged taste bud with an obsession for milkshake. Was he named as such because the designer actually hated the taste of McDonald’s, and McDonald’s figured their customer base would be too stupid to put two and two together…

I wish they would bring back all the characters from McDonald Land; Ronald, Mayor McCheese, Hamburgerler ECT.

A Marriage Dialogue (Blitz Style)…

MIND OR SHOULD*

Turn off the light

Turn on your mind

Mind if I have a poo

Mind if I ignore you

You are cute

You are as well

Well, I really need to take this poo !

Well, then you probably should !

Should I take a stool softener ?

Should you do what ??!

What I just said…

What?!, just go

Go to the bathroom ?

Go, yes, now ! Please !

Please, come out

Please don’t talk

Talk to me

Talk to you ?

You help me

You are too much, honey

Honey…I had a poo !

Honey, what else is new ?

New toilet paper

New is better than used

Used your toothbrush

Used it how ?

How it should be used

How ?! It’s mine !

MINE, YOURS, OURS

Mine ! Only !

Only when you need it !

Only when “I” need it ?

It cleaned the toilet well

“IT” can go in the garbage !

Garbage ? Take it out please

Garbage is now your job

Job is work

Job is money

Money I lack

Money “You” spend

Spend time with me

Spend it well

Well, I was kidding

Well, I figured

Figured you’d know

Figured I should

Should understand me

Should understand you

You

Me

*Written in honor of it being bad poetry day

Things overheard on the job (taken out of context)…

My friend Liz who decided to take an early retirement, kept a notebook of odd and funny things heard on the job. I’d like to honor Liz’s list here on WordPress with a few anecdotes in ( ) as to their significance. Enjoy your retirement buddy 😁

I have peed all day, it’s time I think – terry

I don’t care for penis art – tom

My rod is too tight. And not only is it a rod, it’s a rod with a ball on the end – terry

I don’t get excited over 4 inches – val (thickness of books to film)

I’ve got special problems here – terry

Sometimes you have to push in to pull out – bill

It takes a lot to disturb me – matt (most likely in regards to the penis art)

And it’s not a stripper. Oh, you’d smell that! It smells like stripper in here (paint stripper)
Paul (while standing in the doorway of the ladies room)

It’s not how old you look, it’s how long you can hold your bowels in – tom

It’s big, it’s thick, and it bends when you put it in

I need three, two is not enough today – terry

He’s in love with Brian – Connie

Remember when you used to go to bars to meet people – Laurie
Or rest stops – liz

They still bang two rocks together to turn the lights on – Paul

It’s hard to close your mouth around that wad – terry (of bubble gum)

Then I’d be sniffing my wrist all day – matt (I do like to do this, my wrists sweats under a watch band)

Sometimes it takes a while for it to mount – Paul (software booting)

And I touched it and it came off in my hand – liz

I’ll get her warmed up for you – Paul

We forgot to give Bernie the clap – terry (getting the entire Dept to applaud your entrance)

I only shared my shreddy balls with the ladies – matt (coconut cookies I brought in)

He prefers outdoor plumbing, as it were- terry

Thanks for bringing me back to reality- Joe

I don’t use anything that gets hard – terry

My g string is buzzing like crazy – terry, when she brought her guitar in

Andreas has 27 inches in the back – bill

I get them too – Eric, in regards to yeast infections

I oiled the stool – bill

Ben, would i be able to do one of these machines now- Paul (fix)

For my 40th birthday I rubbed chocolate on my ribs – Matt (BBQ)

The Amused Poetry Contest (Eccentricity)…

I haven’t done one of these in a real long while. So this my entry for the Amused Poetry contest which can be found here.

👍WEll HOW BOUT THAT I WON THIS LIL’ OLD CONTEST, YES I DID👍

Hi twiddily Dee hi twiddily Doe
I prance about and give it a go
Wearing nothing but
a well placed sock down below
my backside and top bits bask
about in a moonlit glow

hi diddle Dee hi diddle Dee do
with top hat and monocle
and a touch of class
How dare you speak of my big fat
ask me now I say to thee
I am but a man full of dignity
of Grace of flair
who cares if my sock is my frontal
Underwear

A middle e and a middle o
like a great cat’s meow
I must go
but not first without
leaving you with a taste of my riches
I remove my sock
to reveal my delicious
solid gold coc….
Sorry gotta keep
the end PG
for the poetry Mrs 😉