That rare opportunity to hear a story from yours truly. Note this is based in truth as most of my contributions to short story Saturday are.
In May of 2020 after a month of lockdown
And being sick with Covid
I managed to achieve a proud milestone on 298 pounds
In the present that’s another story entirely
The punching bag has become a giant cat toy
The gym is always, “I’ll go tomorrow”
And I’ve taken this second job as human garbage disposal.
My head med helps, but garbage food continues to entice and win me over.
The meals I make tend to be healthy, it’s free crap at work and junk food snarls whenever I make additional market trips.
I mean, perhaps if I add testosterone to my ridiculously low levels, I may in fact turn this weight around for good.
This battle bums me.
I hate being fat and yet I don’t seem to hate it enough to become fit without the aid of illness.
I used to consider Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein (1948) as the best comedy-horror, but upon multiple views I found myself laughing and memorizing so many routines and gags from this earlier film significantly more. This film is hands down hilarious.
Bud & Lou play aspiring radio show writers of detective tales, moon lighting as soda jerks (incompetent ones at that). They meet a writer that turned down a position because he ain’t fond of working under a woman. The CEO of the Radio Network is most likely also working for the C.I.A.and placing codes within the scripts, the CEO is then murdered by a German spy. Bud and Lou then masquerade as their detective characters to solve the murder, then find themselves being suspects and trailed by real police detective’s. But before they can be falsely accused, the writer and the producer write a radio drama with events leading up to the death of the CEO, and the real murderer is found out, and caught in the end.
And now I’m sure your saying to yourself nothing about that plot is funny.
Well again it’s classic slapstick comedy duo Abbott and Costello and to me these are the funniest moments in the film:
Costello having a hell of a time with Limburger Cheese.
The Radio Page (Walter Tetley, who was the voice of Sherman in Mr. Peabody cartoons) bets Costello a nickle he can drink 15 cent orange juices faster than Costello can make em.
Abbott & Costello perform for the writer as Detective’s Muck and Meyer. Costello starts saying “Bang Ouch, Bang Ouch” When asked by the writer what’s going on, Costello says I’m holding the gun backwards.
The CEO’S Secretary played by the great Mary Wickes does a hilarious double take when Costello Says “Here’s your malted, beautiful.”
The Radio Page pulls another fast one on Costello, he asks if he has any change ? Costello says sure, what do you want ? The page says “Got two dimes for a Nickle ?” Costello foolishly hands over the twenty cents.
Costello tries to pull the same gag on Abbott but does it to himself. By saying “Hey Abbott here’s two dimes, give me a nickle.”
The City Coroner and two orderlies are looking for the corpse, they come across Costello sitting in the hall with a blank stare. The coroner inspects Costello and says “It looks like he’s been dead for weeks, dump him in the casket”
Costello freaks out over what the coroner says declaring “I’m not dead, I’m still full of life, you got the wrong guy, I’m not dead!”
Costello has a run in with various sound effects records but the funniest one is the last. The records are all pre-recorded but the last one almost seems haunted. Costello tells Abbott “I can handle being stabbed, being shot in the back but this insulted me”..Costello turns on the record and says..”What was that crack about halitosis ?” And the record responds “What are you going to do about it ?”
Costello is winner of a local million dollar raffle and can’t get through to the operator that he needs number Alexander 2222. Multiple people get thru to long distance, eventually the operator tells Costello he is all wet (slang for confused) Costello takes a bottle of Seltzer and sprays it into the phone literally making the operator all wet.
My wife and I were out and about so this is being posted later than usual. Another whimsical episode of Wilhelmina Winters and more tales from the desk of the mouse.
The fourth chapter in a serial story of the imaginative young mind of Wilhelmina Winters. Written by Utah Based Author Chel Owens. Copyright 2019. Followed by Weird Facts & Twisted Tails from the desk of the Mouse by Michael Murdoch copyright 2021.
My wife and I vacation twice a year. Once in the fall to celebrate our first date (October 2, 2010) & once the Spring to celebrate our marriage (May 4, 2013). Our vacations aren’t very long for two reasons, my wife isn’t allotted paid time off like I am (now at least, we met on the job when she worked from 2010-2018). So three day driving vacations are our thing. DAY 1 drive/eat dinner/relax, DAY 2 explore, Day 3 Explore/drive home. A particularly long drive through PA, NJ, NY, CT (the longest stretch), RI and ending in Massachusetts. I drove the entire 6.5 hours the first day, my wife and I split the drive back, she handled the night driving.
DAY 1: The Arrival at The Village Inn at Cape Cod. A lovely B&B run by Irish Expats Robin(concierge and hospitality) and his sister Claire (chef and hospitality).
Dinner as suggested by Robin turned out to be the most expensive meal of our trip (I had a vacation spending budget of $600 and we pretty much spent $387 on food and a few souvenirs, the total cost aside from whatever the hell I will owe in tolls round trip thru 6 states was about $940 total this trip up north has been our most expensive jaunt so far.)
I essentially could make dinner reservations anywhere Thursday night but I foolishly went with the $$$ suggested place from Robin. When we arrived there seemed to be some kind of an error, I did make a reservation for two at 6:30pm, which I might add is late for us, I am thinking whoever took the reservations may have wrote 2 as in Oct 2 at 6:30, I didn’t ask what the issue was but I will say despite that and the cost, the food did not disappoint.
DAY 2: Starting with an amazing and delicious three course breakfast from Claire.
With some time to kill before our long day we hit a used book store down the street then came back to the B&B to read and relax in the backyard.
First up on our agenda was a visit to the Edward Gorey House. (all indoor activities with the exception of dining you were required to wear a mask despite your vaccination status) I was really looking forward to this estate tour because the Gashleycrumb Tinies is my all time favorite book. It was hot outside that day, so I wore a tee-shirt but the AC was too high in the museum and I was cold, there was so much to look at (I am very visual) but the the docent spoke for an hour (I’m not a fan of guided tours, I was cold and slightly disappointed but my wife was really into the history and I didn’t want to be rude and go explore). Claire mentioned that she visited the house a decade ago when it was still in historical hoarder shape, Gorey was a hoarder of knick knacks and had over 26,000 books in the house. He lived with three cats on the second floor and invited any animals from nature to live in the first floor in winter including the likes of squirrels and raccoons. The man was an animal lover and all proceeds from the museum admission go to 17 animal organizations throughout Massachusetts.
After this tour it was lunchtime. We drove to Sandwich Massachusetts to eat Sandwiches and then tour the 100 acre Heritage Gardens and Museums (We stuck to the outside and didn’t tour the Car museum, Art Gallery or 1908 Carousel)
For dinner we went cheap with way too thin crusted crappy New England pizza for my tastes, hurt the jaw to eat. It was supposed to be a mushroom and onion pie but I think they gave us diced tomatoes as well as opposed to any tomato sauce. It was okay, it was cheap. We ate it in the backyard at the B&B then spent some time in the drawing room playing a few rounds of Skip-Bo while listening to The Craig Charles Funk & Soul Show on BBC Radio 6 on my phone.
Turned in for the night watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory from 2010 & the end of the original Halloween from 1978.
DAY 3: The morning started with another amazing and delicious breakfast by Claire.
We checked out and headed to our final two destinations before the long drive home. First up we hit the incredibly beautiful Gray’s beach with a Marsh on one side and the Atlantic Ocean on the other side. We then hit up the super lame rip off Whydah Pirate Museum with kitschy Wax Dummies and essentially a no photo policy on the exhibit (turns out it was slave ship as well ugh) although getting a photo of the ships bell partially embedded in a rock and preserved.
Before heading home we ate our last meal in Massachusetts at Captain Parker’s Pub. My wife got a pastrami & grilled onion sandwich topped with beer cheese and I just had to try a hot buttered lobster roll both came with funky peeled thin fries. I didn’t get a shot of this (we used my phone for the GPS) but about 30 minutes close to home we saw a firework’s display, quite fitting because yesterday was October 2nd ❤
Okay, yes I am sharing space with another artist but I think my work stands out more and they used my quote in that blue blob. On the New st Entrance to the Southside Greenway in Bethlehem, Pa. On the trail till December 31st. An incredible moment in my life of exhibiting locally for over 30 years.
ANOTHER THRILLING CHAPTER OF NORTHWHICH AN ONGOING TALE- CHAPTER 7: War & Peace
The ongoing tale of adventure & fantasy in the encampment called Northwich. By Benjamin Thiel Copyright 2019.
Wile E Coyote would always call himself either a genius or a super genius, so why did he continually invest in products made by Acme and other crappy stores that constantly failed ?
Why didn’t he just make them himself ?