The Brilliance of Better Days (a villanelle sequel to Work Persona)…

I’ve relaxed and settled in my chair

it’s been far too long

my surroundings I’m aware

perhaps I sought relief with prayer

knowing me, it was through song

I’ve relaxed and settled in my chair

22 years put gray in my hair

but now, I’m feeling strong

my surroundings I’m aware

two years away, gave me time to prepare

my attitude was wrong

I’ve relaxed and settled in my chair

emotions damaged, but not beyond repair

for decades I was withdrawn

my surroundings I’m aware

on the daily, no longer basking in despair

with this transformation I have undergone

my surroundings I’m aware

I’ve relaxed and settled in my chair

I’ve relaxed and settled in my chair

The Sound of Brilliance has PUBLISHED!! — I Write Her (I have three haiku’s published in this first volume)…

Cover by Terry Susi Thank you EVERYONE who went on this journey with me! Both the paperback and eBook are now available on Amazon. If you are interested in getting your copy, please tap the links below to purchase. For those who prefer holding a book – click here to get your Paperback and those […]

The Sound of Brilliance has PUBLISHED!! — I Write Her

One hundred things about me that you might or might not already know…

1. As a kid I pretended to be my twin cousin Chuck with my dad’s work glasses.
2. As a kid I had warts on my hands and fingers but I always thought it was cool because no else did.
3. I have small hands and feet for guy, my wife and I wear the same sneaker size (except my foot is wider)

4. I’ve had three cats in my life and one frog.
5. I had allergy shots in my arm from birth to age 18.
6. I started reading comic books in 1975, I collected comics from 1981-1992, sold them off. I have sparingly read throughout the years, these days I prefer to read graphic novels especially of the memoir variety.
7. As a kid I liked to eat Gerber Baby Rice cereal uncooked with a table spoon of sugar, I used to dip my freeze pops in milk, whenever my family went out to eat I ordered a shrimp cocktail (Always ate) and spaghetti (barely ever touched)
8. I had a lot of anxiety as a kid (but was never officially diagnosed till I was in my 30’s)

9. I was never into big boobs. I’m more of an ass man. I love everything about a woman but my friends growing up just couldn’t figure me out, plus I was always crushing on older women (dated quite a few but surprisingly married a woman 12 years younger.
10. I’ve never had a problem with being open about myself. I found myself admiring both sexes and experimenting in my preteens, came out as bicurious to a gay friend in the early 90’s (lost some friends because of this) but never really dated the same sex or for that matter had sex with men. These days I prefer to just label myself as straight and slightly bent.
11. I love movies. Especially black and white movies. I introduced my wife to classic films, she now loves Abbott & Costello & The Thin Man series as much as me. I pretty much prefer films from the 40’s, I’ve seen films from the silents to today but most films I really enjoy came out in the 40’s. All Genres as well.
12. My love of classic movies probably stems from growing up in the 70’s. The tv landscape back then was packed with both older films and tv shows. I miss those days. Saturday morning cartoons, creature double feature, the three stooges, I love Lucy and The Flintstones.
13. I also loved this show that would play 4-6 hours in the 80’s on the USA network. It was called Night Flight and was like the precursor to YouTube. Showing shorts/cartoons/music videos/cult films.
14. I used to go to the midnight movies a lot as well. Saw films like Heavy Metal, The Wall, Eraserhead and of course, The Rocky Horror picture show.
15. I never dated or had a girlfriend until I graduated high school.
16. Never went to any school dances.
17. Never went to prom.
18.I belonged to one club but the only meeting i went to was for the yearbook photo, and because I never attended prior to that I wasn’t listed as being a member in the yearbook.
19. I didn’t drink (not excessively and not till I was 21), smoke , do drugs or cut class (I was and am pretty square and damn proud of it)

20. I wasn’t a perfect angel though, I had a habit of lying, cheating on tests and sometimes stealing from my family, hell I even let air out tires and vandalized a few things (nothing I am proud of, hurt a lot of feelings but never got arrested)

21. My brother and I got sick a lot growing up. Always got bronchitis, I even had pneumonia when I was in the 2nd grade and had to be hospitalized for it. Missed a lot of school, essentially home schooled before it was a thing.
22. My family wasn’t much into going to church. Yeah my parents sent my brother and I to Sunday school and they did swinging 70’s adult Sunday school. But religion just wasn’t a huge part of my life. My Dad didn’t believe in the need for organized religion. My Mom was far more Christian and gave it a shot, but Dad just did church for Mom.
23. My brother sang in the church choir, I on the other hand spent my tenure lip syncing.

24. I mean Christmas was all about Santa Claus, Good Friday was all about my Dad making an amazing fish fry (crab, oysters, shrimp, cod), Easter was the Easter bunny and chocolate. Absolutely none of those holidays were ever what they were supposed to be about.
25. I’ve had interests in a lot of religion/philosophies ie. Darwinism, Satanism, Christianity, Judaism (Almost converted for a girl I was dating), Buddhism, Muslim, Native American, New Age….But what it boils down to like my dad I don’t much care for organized religion of any type. I believe in God, I believe in an afterlife, I wear a cross on the daily and sometimes the words of the Bible inspire me. But I don’t do church. One of my closest friends (she likes my art here known as Beckett’s Daughter) is an Episcopalian Pastor, my wife is the daughter of a Lutheran Pastor. I might not be the most God Fearing man…But I am definitely a God Loving Man.
26. I’m a pacifist

27. Now even though I’ve never actively smoked, I did try smoking incense, catnip and clove cigarettes. I also attended a bong party but didn’t partake. My friends weren’t about peer pressure they were more like ” More for us”.
28. I consider myself an open minded liberal in how I think, but politically I am unaffiliated. All politicians from all levels, all sides are corrupt to some degree.
29. I was an extra in a Japanese tv show called Astonishing News, I played a news cameraman.
30. Creatively I have done all of the following: paint, draw, sculpt, mixed media, film photography and development, Digital photography, 8mm and 16mm film making, and produced two local 30 min tv shows (Produced/Acted/Filmed/Edited), self published two comics and a zine, contributed both poetry and art for other people’s zines, djembe drumer, took klezmer, latin ballroom and swing dance lessons. Was guest host on a radio show and was interviewed multiple times local and radio abroad, had two pieces of press written about me when I was involved in making short films. Did stage management, props, acting and directing for theater. Wrote and slammed poetry. Exhibited and showcased art. Dabbled in making music, still do now and again under the 27th Angel (My mom was born on 4/27). I blog and now started podcasting.
31. I once performed in drag for a benefit.
32. I went on countless blind dates, had 7 girlfriends, had degrees of sex with 8 women, dated White, Black, Hispanic and Jewish women. Two girls were a year older, 3 women in succession were 10 yrs older, 15 yrs older and 20 years older..then I met and married Jess who 12 years younger.
33. Studied American Sign Language

34. Know a teeny bit of Syrian and German, can read and understand Spanish but suck at speaking it.
35. Am a Welsh-German-Polish-Syrian American.
36. Black lives matter.
37. I never knew my Dad’s parents (they died before I was born) or many of his side of the family.
38. My grandfather on my mom’s side died when I was 10

39. My cousin Chip Deffaa ghost wrote the autobiography, Come on get happy the David Cassidy story. Chip is also a former jazz critic and a producer of off Broadway shows.
40. My brother married his girlfriend of 9 years, divorced 7 years later than came out and has been with his husband since 1999. They adopted a mixed race boy in 2004.
41. My mom believed everyone had the gay gene inside. My mom came out to me before the cancer took her brain and admitted to having a loveless marriage. Yet, despite it all my Dad was devoted to her till the end.
42. My Dad, my Brother, other kids and even teachers bullied me growing up.I even had a teacher tell me I had a fake smile.
43. As a kid I was always afraid to take my shoes off for an unknown reason, or be barefoot around strangers.
44. If you’re a racist, a bigot, are into name calling and generally just hateful, then l want nothing to do with you.
45. I like to listen to all types of music (Mostly Hip Hop, RNB & Gospel) but really don’t much care for both Blue Grass and Celtic Music, absolutely everything else is fine.
46. I can accept LGB…but I have a hard time with T. The first three are about who you love, the last is who you are. I can’t wrap my head around that. Bad enough most LG’s don’t take B’s seriously either. Proving prejudice is everywhere.
47. I have a kinky side. I like to be submissive, tied and gagged, spanked. My erogenous zones are my neck, the inside of my elbows and nipples. I also love feet but I wouldn’t go so far to call that a fetish. What can I say I’m a freak, but my wife still loves me.
48. I’ve never flown in any kind of aircraft.
49. I’ve never taken an international cruise.
50. I’ve ridden the subway but not a commuter train.
51. I can ride a bike and roller skate but haven’t in many years.
52. I have only traveled to 8 states all within driving distance on the east coast.
53. The only sports I enjoy watching are Boxing, Minor League Baseball, The X Games and The Summer Olympics.
54. I hate fishing.
55. Hunting is just wrong (unless you have no choice for a food supply), never owned, held or shot a gun. Although growing up my dad had locked rifles kept on the 3rd floor. They were his dad’s.
56. Jobs I’ve had prior to becoming a digital archivist: Amusement Park Attendant/Ride Operator/Ride Foreman/Sound Technician/Costume Character, Retail Sales, Movie Theater Ticket Taker/Usher/Popcorn Maker, Fast Food Cook/Prep Cook/Busboy/Room Service, Factory Worker, Telemarketer, freelance artist/writer/filmmaker while working as a Digital Archivist.
57. I’ve had crushes on four male friends.
58. Most of my friends are women, 90% of my blogging friends as well.
59. Since I was 17 someone has confused my gender. I’m not the one confused. 100% Man. It is a major cross to bare, it really pisses me off. No matter how fat/thin/facial hair/clean shaven/glasses/bald/short or long hair someone is bound to ask “Excuse me Miss ?”
60. I didn’t start wearing glasses till I was 29.
61. I’ll try almost any food.
62. I love cheese.
63. I love chocolate cake.
64. I love fruit pie but hate apple pie.
65. I love ice cream.
66. I love pizza/Italian food.

67. I love sushi/Japanese food.
68. I love Syrian/Greek/Turkish food.
69. I love Vietnamese food.
70. I love Thai food.
71. I am a partial pescetarian (I eat shrimp/oysters/clams/lobster/cod/tuna steaks/swordfish/barramundi/crab/salmon)
72. I still have my wisdom teeth

73. I still have 4 baby teeth

74.I lost a lower left molar because of an incompetent dentist

75. Never broke a bone despite being clumsy.
76. Never had surgery

77. My weight has yo yo my entire life. Pre K to 1St Grade Thin, 2nd-3rd grade fat, 4-6th grade thin, 7th fat, 8th- 10th thin, 11th thru early 20’s fat, 30’s to 50’s various degrees of obese, heaviest at 33 at 360 lowest at 50 at 298. Currently hovering around the low 300’s.
78. Had bouts with tendonitis in my wrists, biceps, knees, hips and shoulders

79. Survived Covid

80. Have minor asthma

81. Have colored my hair blonde, blue, orange, red and purple.
82. Purple is my favorite color but I own very few pieces of purple clothing

82. I’ve designed tee shirts, sneakers and greeting cards

83. I love grocery shopping but online delivery has me spoiled.
84. I love to cook.
85. I hate cleaning.
86. I like to wear watches

87. I once had a hat collection.
88. I made up two words Bowshi (which is bullshit) and Momiab (Morbidly Obese Mentally Ill and Bankrupt)

89. I once filed for chapter 11.
90. I once had a red and black pt cruiser with flames

91. I prefer to drive small sedans or hatchbacks

92. I’d love to own a banana seat long handle bar Harley Davidson

93. I can be hot tempered

94. I swear but not in every day language

94. I love to read Memoirs

95. I miss my parents (mom died in 2002, Dad in 2019)

96.I love my job

97. I love my friends.
98. I love my family.
99. I love my wife and cat.
100. I love myself and wouldn’t change anything about me.



This WEIGHS on me…

So YouTube is my social media addiction of choice. I sometimes find myself watching competitive eaters. This one guy Randy Santel recently posted about getting into Mount Mary University to study for a Master’s of Dietetics. Ideally, this guy that eats enormous amounts of food for YouTube, wants to offer professional help for people like me.

On the one hand, Kudos to him for choosing a noble profession, on the other hand if I was referred by my family doctor to him once he assumes this profession and I’d say “Hey you’re that guy that used to do competitive eating!”, If his response to me was “I still do.” I would be hard pressed to take him seriously.

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgzMpnV_5Cg1zRcPdux4AaABCQ

Short Story Saturday: Brother’s Campfire Presents “Northwich An Ongoing Tale- Chapter One”…

My latest podcast is the first episode in what is to become a lengthy collaboration with Brother’s Campfire.
Benjamin Thiel’s tale of adventure lasted 250 chapters and recently concluded. This story will appear in monthly segments till it concludes.

https://anchor.fm/matt-david-snyder/embed/episodes/Brothers-Campfire-Presents-Chapter-One–An-Ongoing-Tale-eu7stf