**Controversial Opinion**
A little history on me. In my early teens, I experimented sexually with both boys and girls. As I got older, I found myself emotionally attached to a few guy friends and a bit of sexual attraction as well. I never truly acted on my feelings, although I did once use the name “Thew” for a phone dating service but chickened out when the one guy who answered said he’d meet me with his posse. It was a gut feeling of becoming a potential victim of a hate crime that deterred me. My Dad was never cool with anything I said or did straight or otherwise, but my Mom always said everyone had a little gay in them, hell she had an affair with a woman when I was 15. I am surprised my Dad stuck around for 17 more years.
I came out initially as bicurious and eventually as bisexual. Coming out in the ’90s meant a loss of a few old friends and the gains of quite a few gay and bisexual friends of both sexes. I flirted a lot, I danced in gay bars but I exclusively dated women. My brother was married to a woman for 7 years, got divorced had a civil ceremony with Earl (prior to legalization) and they have been together for almost 24 years with an adopted son.
In my 30’s I took an acting class and was paired off with my friend Mark, because I suggested we act as lovers he assumed I was gay (6 years later he’d come out to me). I remember telling a friend I was bisexual but she was adamant to believe it because in her mind it meant you had to have sex (although I know quite a few virgins on both sides of the spectrum who know in their heart who they are attracted to) and I didn’t. I was also told once by a lesbian that bisexuality is bullshit. That it’s a term for closeted homosexuals who refuse to truly be who they are. I can’t agree with that. I’m attracted to both sexes, period.
So in this crazy mixed-up world of the all-inclusive in the 21st Century, here is why you cannot lump everyone together. The only people that deserve equal rights are Gays & Lesbians. That long line of LGBTQI should primarily just be LG. Other people in the LG community agree with me.
Because bisexuals can live as straight people either some or all of the time, how would we remotely qualify?
T for Transexual, the trans community has become all the rage of late. I will never truly understand this situation. I can accept it but I don’t agree with it. On a warped morality scale I have an easier time accepting who someone can be in love with as opposed to someone who was born with the wrong soul. I honestly feel that gender dysphoria is a mental illness. Although I will say I don’t have an issue with Trans people using the bathroom they want to use even without gender reassessment surgery, because no one is any the wiser if you are using the toilet. Showering or changing on the other hand is another story.
Q is someone questioning (younger generations have also adopted the once derisive Queer as a positive label)
I or Intersex (which is inclusive to someone like me with an extra chromosome or a hermaphrodite with both sex organs)
And finally, A which stands for Ally ??? Come on really, adding this letter basically means straight people should be included…it doesn’t make any sense. Each of these letters is not intertwined, nor remotely the same, and shouldn’t be lumped together.
But this is just my opinion.
A straight and slightly bent opinion 🏳️🌈😉
Okay…I am not confused…. Truly I am not confused 🤗
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Okay ? Thanks for convincing yourself ?? But now I’m confused as to why you comment as such.
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Sorry just my daft English sense of humour…. Not always appreciated by our lovely cousins across the pond ..
Your post made perfect sense to me……..honest 💜🥂 happy New Year incase I’m not up tomorrow night 💜💜
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Not so much not appreciated Willow, just couldn’t comprehend it
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Fingers crossed it’s comprehensive now 💜
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Nope…I really don’t know what you mean. Was it sarcasm ?
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No definitely not!
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Willow please explain, I am really not kidding
..
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I mean no offense and excuse me for not answering promptly it’s early morning and I’ve not slept most of the night.
I have to admit I found the whole LGBT titles difficult to get my mind round. I always just except people as people , individuals so to speak why do we need labels.. we have enough and now there are more for me to cope with and worry I’ll get them wrong and upset someone. I hope that makes sense.💜
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Now I completely understand thanks 😁👍…I too really don’t believe in labels. It has really gotten out of control. There are so many subdivisions from the straightforward LGBTQIA. I swear every day there us a new type of person. But my point is that there shouldn’t be an umbrella term, it’s also not one big happy community there is prejudices within. There are also gay people that are church going Christian’s and those that aren’t, people that are promiscuous and those that aren’t, people that are Republicans and those that aren’t. Basically if anyone straight thinks we are all the same they are sadly mistaken. In my case, I married a woman who wrestles internally with her sexuality because she grew up in the church (her father is a Lutheran Pastor) but admitted to liking both sexes to me before we got married. So my wife and fall under monogamous married bisexuality who heavily lean straight.
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Yes we are a complicated species and I am old enough to know now there is no one fits all for anyone , there are a plethora of options for everyone! I say each to their own, own yourself and be happy. Sorry if I confused the issue I was very tired . Be safe and well 💜💜
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Naw, its all good Willow, I wasn’t stressing over it. 😁
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Excellent 👌☺️
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I’m with you I am confused with LGBT. Because I can never remember what they’re stand for. I’m also confused when people roll it off their tongue and then tell me what each one stands for. I am old school I guess, my memory doesn’t have room for certain things. I think we’ll ask be numbers one day. Remember the day they stopped asking your DOB because it was viewed as discrimination? Pretty soon when “what do you identify has?” will be dropped as well. I dunno. I never gave it any thought. I just let people be people. Now I feel I’m too aware of it and self conscious about being politically correct about EVERYTHING. That what I think. Just keep your side of the street clean and be kind to everyone.
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It’s all so complicated, isn’t it. I would reall just like us to accept eachother and be kind 💜
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Too bad as I said discrimination even happens within. When I came out as bisexuality, a lesbian told there was no such thing..it meant that I was too afraid as a gay to come out completely. Talk about bullshit. Coming as bi lost me friendships all the same. No fear, am what I am…like who like period.
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If you lost friends because you are bi they were not real friends. 💜
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I took it as..they were just closeminded. I can’t throw away the good times I spent with those people prior to my outing.
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No I agree but they should of been able to accept you 💜
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Aww well Willow, I do agree but it didn’t devastate me.
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Thanks good to hear 💜
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I thought A was asexual… but I also gave up on keeping up a long time ago.
Since I feel equally male and female (or neither, depending on your perspective), used to want a penis and still have penis envy, it’s not for me to say what’s going on in anyone’s mind or soul.
I appreciated a teacher, way back in the 80s or 90s, saying that fetusesesess go through 3 intense floodings of hormones during development and there is/was a theory that they create sexual parts, sexual identify, and sexual/love preference. For all I know, he made it up. But I’ve always liked it for people who need reasons for things.
My ex boyfriend is trans. She seems happier. Whatever works! The only part I had difficulty with, and realized was a recurrent issue for me, was that she came out and transitioned at 50-something and started acting like a teenager. Drove me up a wall when she’d write “giggles” … too young!! But I thought on it and realized, well… a large part of her was stuck at 15, the time when she shut down that side of herself. I still dislike a 57yr old writing “giggles” instead of “lol” (or just about anything else, but it makes far more sense to me.
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I read a few a few articles tgat said a was ally, again i prefaced this post with controversial opinion. Not expecting anyone to completely agree with me, just weighed on me to feel the need to express it. Yeah, writing giggles does sound a bit immature.
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She dressed like a teen too, as have some transsexuals I’ve known. But so have I so I’ve got no room to comment!!
I was a proud, and popular, faghag in the 90s (I always liked the term, even though my gay friends hated it). Still would be but as everyone/everything became accepted, the men rejected me. Now I’m just boring.
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Aww that’s a shame, you sure don’t come across as boring online
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Well, compared to who I’ve been…
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Well if anyone is telling you that, that’s their hang-up.
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LOL… no, it’s my experience. I burned out on most things about 7 yrs ago. Turned out I was sick. I’m better now but doubt I’ll be that person again.
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Sick how ? Emotionally or Physically or both ?
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Technically both but primarily physically. I was almost completely bedridden by TOTAL exhaustion… usually too weak to even brush my teeth. It took over 3yrs for me to finally test positive for lupus and simultaneously realize it was a reaction to my blood pressure medication (a not uncommon connection but no one, not even my docs, seem to have heard about it). It took months to get my energy back but in the meantime my knees got so bad that I’m disabled. And I deal with chronic depression and anxiety. I’m 58 but feel 95 a lot of the time.
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Sorry to hear that, truly.
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Thx. I’m still an uber extrovert but where I used to be “on” several nights a week, it’s now several hours per month.
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Ouch…that’s really rough. 🤗
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Thinking about it can I add F for faghag/fruitfly??! LOL
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Sure go for it…let’s extend it to include the entire alphabet…why not also add BDSM 🙄 or let’s take it further down the path of sexual deviation and include the letter P
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I’m game!!
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I like that you are confident enough to never shy away from controversial opinions.
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Must be the meds I am on to control my anxiety 😂 I can’t expect everyone to agree with me but I don’t really mind expressing an opinion or even exposing any skeletons in my closet. That’s just me being me. Take it or leave it.
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A for ally, really 🤣
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Pathetic right ?! Just going too far with inclusivity to the point of not making sense.
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I thought so. Then I got into a fight about it with my wife and now I don’t know. Nothing makes sense and in that way it makes perfect sense.
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I’m pretty liberal but I do have a lot of issues with the current state of the world especially here in America even down to actors no longer allowed to act as someone they are not.
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It does seem the American way has gone so far it’s now going backwards.
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What a beautiful post. I really really enjoy reading it. Now you piqued my interest in reading some LGBT literature, which I have never explored before. Actually growing up under an extremely dysfunctional family situation, I am open for any kind of marriage situation. Actually marriage should be allowed for any people who love each other no matter what orientation and should not be allowed for those people who don’t love each other. Also people who don’t love children should not be allowed to have children through giving birth or adoption. It is very simple.
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I HIGHLY recommend “My First Time”. And the “Tales of the City” series.
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I enjoyed the 90s tv adaptation of Tales of the city. Other books to consider Invisible life by E. Lynn Harris and the graphic novel Fun Home by Allison Bechdtel
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Matt: Did you see the movie Longtime Companion? I hate that I didn’t keep the VHS because it hasn’t been released in digital. It was very much my life experience.
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Wow, okay. Yeah I am film buff Leeenda you name it I’ve probably seen it. That’s a tough watch.
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The ending hit me so hard that I broke down earlier and earlier… first the scene, then the start of the music, then the scene fade before, full screen before, etc.
I still have mt tshirt from back then: “All I Want Is The Cure And My Friends Back”
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I didn’t experience that at all. Absolutely no one in my circle died from AIDS. A few though died from suicide 😒
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I lost 1 to suicide; about 30, including my SO, to AIDS.
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😔
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I’m sorry for your losses.
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Thanks you as well
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🥰
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Other books to consider Invisible life by E. Lynn Harris and the graphic novel Fun Home by Allison Bechdtel
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An honest and very interesting post. My youngest son is gay and married to a lovely guy, so your take on this was very informative. Thanks for your honesty.
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Any time. Just wanted to give a perspective that people are individuals and don’t think en masse. I only speak for myself and on behalf of a few family and friends.
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Of course!
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Thanks for sharing this. Nice post
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Thanks for reading
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👍
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Straight but slightly bent- wow 😉
The title is sooo accurate- it’ll soon include all the letters of the alphabet. LGBTQIAP+
A stands for asexual though and I really believe asexuality needs to be represented more. I’m aromantic asexual and I’d really like to use some representation. People are soooo ignorant about us.
Wishing you a fabulous New year!
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Represented yes, but grouped together no. Wow AA… essentially you are content going through life on your own ? With no interest in sex or love ?
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Precisely that! Not the slightest bit of interest in romantic love.
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Don’t include P that was sarcasm for Pedophiles
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🤣🤣🤣
But Pansexual ofc
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Perfect example of way too many labels. This is why I made my own. That’s like race. I’m not white, I am olive green.
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Great post….people are who they are, and that’s all there is to it. No need for a string of letters to define anyone.
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I am a proud bisexual but I keep it semi closet for safety.
I had long had a preference for women. And the homophobic culture in school made any feelings for the opposite sex be mentally forced into thinking I was crazy.
I do remember looking at one of friends I did have and I really wanted to kiss him. Mentally, I was pushed by society to think I was just being crazy for thinking it.
As an adult, I accepted my sexual nature. I bought toys for myself. And eventually I had sex with a few guys. Never a realtionship because I much prefer that with a woman. For such, I always made sure to have safe sex.
While I’m married and monogamous now, it definitely makes me no less bisexual. And my wife supports me 💖💜💙
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Yeah when I was growing it definitely wasn’t accepted nor was it legal. I on the other hand have never had sex with men but I am attracted to both sexes as is my wife. Our marriage though is closed monogamous.
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My wife is bi too. She actually had her first major relationship with a girl in school.
Her mom never found out. Interesting enough.
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My wife struggles with it because of growing up so deeply in the church.
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Hmm. Personally, I think it’s all nonsense. People are so worried about labels and inclusivity that they forget it is actually people they’re talking about. It’s so important to give “gays” rights that they forget that it doesn’t matter if you’re attracted solely to aliens – you are a PERSON. PEOPLE have rights, not the label. There are two labels that matter: close minded and everyone else. Close minded people will always try to shut out those they don’t want to bother to understand – the rest of us don’t.
Another thing that bothers me, that you touched on briefly is the struggles within that umbrella term. Why is it that people identify so strongly with their own labels that they actually have some ridiculous need to tell other people why their label isn’t accurate? Shush. No one asked you to pass judgment. Stand up, unite under the flag, and stop demanding non-judgement for those in your label while piling judgement on other labels. Just shush. Somehow we manage to unite by borders, race, gender, language, and religion, but the idea of uniting as PEOPLE seems to baffle us. Go figure.
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