I shall be released (My Atonement)…

I seek the light up above

For over 25 years I’ve had this recurring dream of being dragged to hell by demons. Being that dreams aren’t always literal it could mean that I have been wrestling with my own mental demons that plague my mind at times with a profound measure of guilt from destructive behavior I wish to keep to between myself and God.

I am not the most religious person yet I am a seeker. I have a deep & close friendship with a Pastor who follows my blog under the nom de plume Becketts Daughter. I am quite fond of our friendship. I prefer to not tithe nor worship per se. But I enjoy sermons. So even though I am a non conventional parishioner, I’ve never been turned away in how I choose to worship God.

My spiritual path has been quite extensive in self discovery. I’ve gone from growing up Presbyterian, attending Catholic, Bahai, Lutheran and non denominational services. I was a member for a few years as an Episcopalian. I studied the Muslim, American Indian & Judaic Faiths (Even considered converting for a woman I was dating), I’ve delved in Darwinism (which I guess could be atheist), Wicca & New Age Crystal Spirituality.

I have found it to be quite fascinating to have followers on WordPress that are significantly more religious than myself but I also feel that they are here for a reason. I have nothing but the utmost respect to however anyone chooses to live. I haven’t been actively worshiping for a few years now but this morning I attended an MCCLV service with my wife. The Metropolitan Community Church is a welcome beacon of hope for those of us in the LGBTQI community but their door is also open to ANYONE. There is no Gay agenda at this church, the only agenda is that of a loving welcoming God and an even more welcoming group of worshipers.

The sermon of the morning was that of ephphatha, it couldn’t be more appropriate a story for a much needed spiritual cleanse.

This is me. I don’t worship God, I don’t actively read the bible, I don’t offer monetary support. But, I do feel connected. The light is always there to bring me out of my darkest days. I have nothing but love and respect to the Lord above.

8 thoughts on “I shall be released (My Atonement)…

  1. You have such a pragmatic view of religion and I happen to share many of your views. ☺️ Everybody has a different relationship with God and it’s sacred. I don’t believe that any God, from any religion, would love a queer person less than a straight one or a person with disability less than a normal one. He made all of us the way we are. What matters is that we remain true to our faith and have a moral code for ourselves, apart from the one suggested by religion, which we must hold to steadfastly.
    This comes from a Hindu follower of yours, from India.. ☺️🙏 This was a great post and it was nice to hear your view about this. Sorry for the looong comment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No need to ever be sorry, I welcome long comments. I don’t feel personally persecuted for being bisexual, I just threw that in to the post to alleviate any potential fears of any headstrong believers that an LGBTQI church is radically different. Yeah, I guess you can say I am pretty pragmatic to an extent, but the images of heaven and hell have always resonated more with me than any other supernatural aspect of the Bible. Interesting view of the Bible is that the first English speaking person to ever translate it was labeled a heretic and burned at the stake. Perhaps it was never meant to be translated. But my essential reasons for atonement were because I haven’t lived as honest as I could as if my moral compass is skewed. I can do better. For whatever reason yesterday brought comfort to me. I’ll take comfort over anguish.


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