a BITTER sweet ENDing…

Photography, words

Boy, talk about being placed in super awkward situations.

Let’s backtrack. Way back in 1998 when I was working in music retail I met Scott. Scott was a cool older Jewish NYC dude that I connected with at least in being movie buffs. I was 28, he was 43. He was lead singer of a local rockabilly band and at one point we even wrote a film together. It was truly a bad film imitating bad 1950’s Juvenile Delinquent films with some music by his band the Whoadads.

By 2003 Scott married Nadine and I went to their wedding. Nadine never took Scott’s last name (not that she has to, I guess I am more a traditionalist) here is a photo of the 4 of us with their two Yorkies from around 2017-18.

Scott, Nadine, Me & Jess

Turns out their marriage was a loveless charade. Admitted by both parties. I can’t say I was surprised, the last few years were brutally awkward whenever we hung out. I think part of their problem was Scott developed severe back problems/depression and ended up on disability. Nadine wasn’t keen on becoming a caregiver (something both Jess and I are comfortable with..we take the vow in sickness and in health seriously). By 2020 they separated. Scott moved out into a very small, dark, disgusting apartment above a pizza shop in South Side Bethlehem. Nadine kept the house.

I saw Scott in September of 2020 and even though he told me he was better off, I could tell he wasn’t. He started a downward spiral of closing off the world, closing off our friendship.

Yesterday Jess and I were invited to Nadine’s next Wedding (well, dinner at least..her and her new husband Rich used the JOTP)

She looked pretty.

Notice, I didn’t capture a shot of Rich.

So aside from people from both their families, they had maybe three sets of friends attend. We sat at a table with her bother who is a Pastor and friend and fellow Pastor whose name escapes me but he was an older gentleman from Australia. Tim ate dinner at our table which was a fat guys nightmare come true…

14 thoughts on “a BITTER sweet ENDing…

      1. I’ve decided to cut ties with the pair in this story. Yeah I hear ya LA, honestly it’d be great if I just had new friends with a brighter outlook on life, i have friends like that..but they aren’t local and they always seem to be busier than the Debbie Downer’s. My wife and i don’t entertain and are content in our own company, but we do have a mutual friend we will be seeing soon enough.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. What a story. I am sorry about the loss of your friendship with Scott. I don’t know all the details, just what you provided but I always live with the motto “don’t take anything personally” and after reading all you said about what he went through, it’s not you. It’s him. It sounds like his depression is what is fueling him not wanting to be friends with you (and possibly anyone else).

    But that cake though! 😉

    I am really sorry because I know how it feels to lose friends. It took me decades to learn not to take friendship loss personally.

    Like

    1. It was less about losing Scott than it was about not exactly being friends with Nadine yet being invited to the dinner. When I last Scott in person, I had a feeling that was the end. I’m not terribly upset about losing him. There were times when he could be quite opinionated and real downer in general which in turn would trigger my anxiety. It’s a gain for me.

      Liked by 1 person

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