When you don’t connect the dots…

I had a friend a few years back that was divorced and dating a guy I knew growing up. Dude had bully tendencies but by our 20’s we became friends. Anyway, eventually after a few years of dating they moved in together. This also included her 2 daughter’s.

A few years later I spoke with my friend and she told me she had broken up with the guy and bought a house and took the kids there. She said it was because the guy was sick. At the time I thought, how odd and or how ill would someone have to be that you break up with them because of it. I will say that very thing broke up another couple I know because the guy had serious back problems and depression and his wife felt like she had no life. But back to couple #1, I asked the guy if he was ok or terminal or what the hell was going on. He told me long story, but he lost his job over it…And I was like, that royally sucks.

Fast forward a few more years, and the female friend posts on Facebook (when I was still on it) that the guy finally got thrown in jail because of his “sickness”. And they were finally going to court on the matter. Of course I was aghast, I asked my female friend what that was all about and turns out the guy friend wasn’t ill in the physical sense he had molested my female friends daughter’s.

A perfect example when you assume what someone says is concrete and you never connect the dots as to the possibility of another meaning.



24 thoughts on “When you don’t connect the dots…

    1. Right ? I’m just happy they got out when they did and that justice came her way, I do feel bad that the kids lost a piece of their innocence and face years in therapy. People in prison don’t think too highly on child molesters. Even if he gets a short sentence, it’s a death sentence even if it’s not.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah exactly, both girls are now teens but when the incident happened they were much younger. I would say what makes it even harder is that their Mom deals with being bipolar and has had a pretty rough life but at least self sufficient enough to end things and get out before the situation continued to get worse.

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    1. After learning what he did I wrote him out of my life. I just decided to write this because when my friend said sick I thought she meant illness, not that she was meaning disturbed. I guess it’s hard to imagine if the perpetrator never shows any outward signs.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. As I was reading this, the first thing that came to mind was that he was mentally sick, not physically. But, maybe that’s because I’m all too familiar with molestation, unfortunately. Sad for your friend and her daughters.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know a couple who broke up over a partner’s illness as the other could not bear to look after someone who had at the time practically given up on life… Anyway fast forward to about few years the divorce was jump start they needed in their life to get back into managing their life and their chronic illness which with a lifestyle change and medication could be handled…..

    With that experience one might not read any other meaning into someone explaining how a sickness did all that outside of wondering of course what sort of sickness and if it is really that bad.. But as they say only the shoe knows the socks has holes
    This is a heart breaking story 💔 there’s really sick people out there and they aren’t in hospital
    Glad she and the girls got out but I can’t imagine the trauma.

    ~B

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In sickness and in health is a vow taken to heart between my wife and i. I once had a friend tell me prior to my wedding do I know what I am getting into marrying someone with a severe mental disorder. I said my heart knows it’s doing the right thing and besides she’s the only one that gets me and with med’s and therapy she has her rock moments that help pull me out of black cloud days and I help her as well. I’ve always been like this even prior to marriage. A giver, I just need to refocus my energy on myself at times.

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    1. When we were in grade school and middle he was a bully towards me, apparently he still acted like a dick to multiple people into adulthood. I feel he was already off to some extent, it didn’t surprise to learn what his sickness was.

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      1. …. Just not trying to be offensive. But were there other kids also targeted by him in grade and middle schools? It sounds like He has a superiority complex or something.

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