The Flip Side of the Snake (Venomous Eulogy)…

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Sometimes I try to wrap my head around the fact that you spit vitriol venom on the daily on my young impressionable mind, and that shit sticks in the deep recesses of my thoughts, but Mom’s openness far outweighs a larger percentage of my sense of self. Words of hate I don’t use nor want to use or to write, so I won’t.

That was your beef. 

Although that one fight when you said you hated Mom’s People (The Syrians) and were proud to be Aryan!, but straight up ? I think there was not just German but Jewish in your heritage….but I’ll never know, now. 

I can respect your decision to break the cycle of violence that you and your brother suffered from your Dad & Step Mom but why was it so hard to go full circle ? Why when my brother picked on me did you feel the need to join in ? To fuel the flame ?

Those bizarre needs to pretend to throw me into a creek or over a bridge, that personal derision of constantly calling me “Little Shirl” ? I sometimes wonder why the hell you and Mom married in the first place or why divorce as opposed to death was never on the table.

When on Mom’s burial day, I grew weak in the knees and you approached me with a comfort hug and I PUSHED you away. 

There was a lot of distrust and anger prior to February 7th, 2002.  After that day, I tried my damndest to put up steel wall’s but at best they were only aluminum.

And the distance grew at great lengths. 

But there was resolve. And now you’re but a memory. The depression is there minus the anxiety, but my mind is clear. Far more clear than the dark cloud that loomed from 2002-2010.

This is just another day. 

Yet, a more peaceful day…

Published by mattsnyder1970

Matt Snyder has been making a dent in the creative community in North Eastern Pennsylvania since 1988. He’s been involved in showcasing his art in Exhibits in area Galleries & Spaces as well as online. Mr. Snyder is a real renaissance man. He doesn’t just dabble in the fine arts but has been known to grace the following kinds of things with his presence: Live Sound Mixing, Radio Production, Television Production, Short Films(Acting/Editing/Writing/Directing), Animations, Costume Character Performance, Dance, Music, Djembe Drumming, Theater (Writing/Acting/Directing/Props Management/Stage Management), Self Published Comics & Zines, Written & Slammed Performance Poetry, Sculpting Animal Figurines, Designing Tee Shirts, Photography Film & Digital, Painting (Acrylics), Drawing (Pen & Ink, Pastel, Colored Pencil, Sharpies, Crayons), Mixed Media, Collage, Paper Art, The Brooklyn Art Library & The Sketchbook Project, Blue Turtle ComiX, Just an Average Day Comic, Toxic Shock & Other Abnormalities of the Inner Being Zine as well as the culinary arts. His passion is the arts, his life is as a married humanitarian bisexual politically unaffiliated pacifist working as a Digital Preservation Archivist since 1999. Matt currently resides in an apartment with his equally creative wife of 7 years ,Jess and their cat Nigel.

3 thoughts on “The Flip Side of the Snake (Venomous Eulogy)…

    1. Thanks, Since my Dad has been gone now for about 3 weeks. I no longer have those harsh feelings. I wrote that because at the time I was on facebook and wrote a happy eulogy but wanted my wordpress friends to experience the actual truth. All 4 decades of hurt have been lifted. The last time we spoke it was a happy loving moment, despite our history. Being that I tended to visit my Dad on Christmas Eve, but don’t particularly care for his widow and don’t plan on being a part of her life, Christmas Eve might be very hard this year. Only time will tell.

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