18 yr old me meets 48 year old me for a bit of conversation
18: Holy Shit ! Do you have a brother named Pugsley ?? (Ha Ha)
48: Fuck you Asshole ! Is that supposed to be funny ? Are you really that insensitive ? Fucking Prick.
18: It was just a joke, man. You look familiar.
48: I’m you, 30 years later.
18: Wow, man really ? Sorry about the Joke. I guess I can be a jerk sometimes.
48: Plenty of times. But that’s besides the point. You’ll end up on one incredible roller coaster ride of a life, a lot of lows I hate to say…
18: Like what ? Nothing can be as bad as my girlfriend right now ?
48: She’s a piece of work, somehow you’ll endure her shit for three years before you finally wake up and walk away.
18: Yeah I learning things about her, that aint too cool. But the sex is incredible.
48: Maybe that’s why you stayed ? I don’t know but..you should’ve walked away sooner, my man. She was a walking red flag, suicidal, demeaning, dude she even tried to run you over with her car and yet you stayed THREE YEARS !!! Ok, you are a well meaning kind of guy, you will one day try to prevent her from jumping off a bridge but in the same moment you’ll be facing Allentown Vice with guns drawn on you as if you were doing something wrong..
18: Seriously ?
48: Yeah it was most likely your long hair, ripped jeans at the crotch look. Man, you really didn’t much care for your appearance at times LOL.
18: Do JoAnn and I stay together.
48: Naw man, weren’t you listening you walk away from her after three years of hell, you even write a film about it called Beating Hearts, black clouds & SmileS.
18: Do I work in Tv or Film or Radio ?
48: Not Exactly, but you do remain active in the arts scene.
18: cool. Do I become famous before I’m 30 ?
48: I know that’s your goal but no, at most you land a solo exhibition at age 29 in a bookstore cafe. Not exactly fame but still an accomplishment. You do end up having 1 regret.
18: what’s that ?
48: By 23 you apply for this program called the Assistant Directors Training Program (Learning to be a film producer) You take a test and you pass with flying colors…but the the next level of the test is in Chicago, you don’t feel comfortable travelling by yourself so you decided against it. You’ll be kicking yourself for that decision forever.
18: What kind of music am I into ? Your hair looks quite short. Did you go all conservative on me ? Still into Metal or Hard Rock or Classic Rock ?
48: Naw man, not as much as you. I know you also liked hip hop too. My tastes are all over the map these days, but for the most part it’s Hip Hop, Rap, Soul, R&B, Gospel & Swing of all things. Oh and some Country.
18: No way, Country Sucks !!!, I’m still into Horror though right ?
48: Yeah some things never change ha ha. But, you got away from comics. You do read a lot of magazines on films & food. If anything you’ve become quite the chef.
18: Yeah, but nothing beats Mom’s thanksgiving stuffing.
48: Yeah, until hit your 30’s. I gotta say, you are quite the fuck up. Your teens suck, you bounce between a lot of jobs in your 20’s, you’re most likely suffering from anxiety and depression but your parents are oblivious to realize that you might need some help. Dude you even venture out into the unknown and try living with a friend in New York, but because your head is so fucked up, you only last 5 days. FIVE DAYS !
18: Bummer. Ok, if I’m not doing anything in radio/tv/film what am I doing ? And wait, what happens in my 30’s ??
48: I’ll back track, by 25 you find yourself working at a factory. But you don’t want that as your life so you consider going back to school, first you’re thinking studying SFX, but that’s only offered in Pittsburgh, there’s that whole separation anxiety issue so you decide to study Animation/Media Arts in Philly 1 hr away is far better than 6. But the mid 90’s animation is becoming all computer, you become disillusioned and eventually regret getting that second associates degree as opposed to maybe getting a bachelors of the arts in film somewhere. Eventually you land a job in digital imaging and I hate to say this but you stay at this job till the present day. You switch departments because digital is going under and hate the middle management only to realize that the main problem is almost everyone at this job is a conniving backstabbing prick. But you are being proactive, you’ve finally reached the pinnacle of moving on.
18: So in my 30’s I get stuck in a shitty job, that I like doing but really hate the people I work with. That doesn’t sound too horrible.
48: Well by 31 your Mom is diagnosed with Cancer and will be gone a year later along with your grandmother and your cat.
48: You’ll inherit cash from your Grandmother but will end up bankrupt 2 years later, you’ll be in and out of dead end relationships older women and eventually have to move in with your brother.
18: Did Donnie end up marrying Tina ?
48: Yeah, but it only last 7 years. Donnie dropped a bombshell and came out of the closet. When you move in with him, he’s in a civil marriage with Earl and they had just adopted a baby boy named Lucas.
18: Cool, I become an Uncle. I never really got to know any of my Uncles. Am I a cool uncle ?
48: Dude, you really don’t enjoy kids. It’s probably best you never became a father. Oh that’s another thing, you’re at that age when JoAnn misses a period and you panic but she isn’t pregnant.
48: So, as I said you’ll have a lot of lows. But it does get better. It’s not perfect, because you’ll constantly struggle with weight gains and losses but by age 40 you’ll meet Jessica. She’ll be the best thing that ever happened to you, from staying at your shitty job.
18: Is she pretty ? Is she older than me ?
48: Yeah she’s pretty, I know you have a “type”. She’s not your type, but she broke the mold my man. And, no, she’s younger by TWELVE YEARS !
18: DAMMNNNN! I’m with a 6 year old LOL !
48: Well no, she’s 28 and you’re 40. Quite the catch. You stud. Funny though she kind of parallels JoAnn in certain ways, Suicidal & Bi-polar but she evens you out. She’s not a bitch in any way. There is nothing but LOVE, real strong LOVE. You’ll marry her by age 43 and still be going strong FIVE years later.
18: Oh very cool man. Look I’m real sorry I made that joke about you, just because you’re fat. I really wasn’t thinking. I was definitely an asshole to you.
48: Yeah you were, but you know what else ? You got shades of a better you inside you. You’ll grow man, you’re soul will grow.
18: sweet. Peace man.
48: You’re ok kid, try try try to enjoy the next 30 years.