A Prolific Potpourri…

Dear Diary:

Dana here, what the hell is wrong with me ? I am such a loser. Why do I keep chasing these older women ? I thought Ingrid was the one, maybe I thought too hard ? I even considered converting to Judaism for her. I am just a fat fool.

But it’s the 3 month curse all over again. Ingrid & I met through the personal ad’s. Yeah I have been playing this game since the early 90’s. I think I said I was looking to date anyone 28-38 but she was 43. Strangely her Dad who she was very close to died a week after my Mom, trying our best to say it was like fate or something. Then I hastily designed a tee shirt for her based on our first date as if that was going to cement anything.

Ing was cool though, she had an enormous percussion collection (honestly thanks to her I found a love of the drum circle, but that happened later..she and I never really got to enjoy that) and very cool dog named Piper.

One night after a bit of sex I said where do you want me to put my toothbrush? It was way too early in our relationship to be moving into the moving in together stage, and I think that put a major wedge into things (My Dad actually offered that advice 😦 ) Back to the sex, man she was incredible at giving blow jobs, I haven’t had that great of oral sex since Tami “blew out the candle” way back in ’88.

She once asked me where I would see myself in 5 years..i said something stupid like “Married to you” and most likely still working in digital imaging. My answer didn’t sound very promising and it was once again way too forward.

We tried ballroom dancing & we saw Smokey Robinson live and went to a few movies together.

We took an unofficial break in October, but then after I got my first apartment and was settled in the last two months, she showed up at my door bearing a gift. She bought me a Djembe drum and then told me we should break up. I guess 32 & 42 ain’t the magical numbers I had hoped they would be. As much as it was her idea to cut it off she herself had a hard time of letting go, I gave her my favorite yellow shirt, it somehow brought her some comfort.

And that was that.

Here I am now a few months later alone in my miserable basement apartment about to head out to showcase some artwork at this local venue called Barbara Martyska’s Second Sunday Salon. I’m there and this patron named Ronit (I get dumped by a 10 years my senior Reformed New York Jewish Woman and fall head over heals for a 15 years my senior Jewish Woman from Israel by Way of Connecticut residing in Pennsylvania)

I was crazy to pursue this woman.

I think she thought I was a number, a conquest, an experiment. when we worked out together at the YMCA she kept telling me I was project for her. Not a friend, not a lover….a project.

One day we went out drinking & dancing, I had one & she had one too many. Instead of taking her home I took her to my place, instead of sobering her up, I took advantage, well not exactly. In my mind I had hoped to be the dominant one, instead she took the reigns. While we made out, she rolled her tongue in such a way while we kissed, it was mind blowing. She took her top off and headed into my bedroom, and instead of truly pleasing myself, I pleased her with my mouth til she fell asleep. I in turn slept on the couch.

The next day when she awoke she wasn’t happy, pleased to some extent but not happy that she spent the night. Actually told me the sex was incredible but was angry that i never took her home. I was getting some major mixed signals here.

After this awkward one night stand, Ronit and I continued to hang out. There was one time too that I had tickets for us to see Weird Al, she wanted to go to Philly to visit her brother. I went with her, she lollygagged on the time frame to the point where I ended up missing the concert, why ? She was playing my emotions and starting sucking on my fingers, it was enticing and essentially it was like she was getting back at me from that first night out.

I regretted missing that show.

Eventually Ronit starting dating this guy her own age, even slammed the door in my face when I popped by to see her one day.

And then that was that.

Sigh, think I am done with older women.

Till Again,

Dana